I wanna write I just wanna write something. I don’t care what I write just so long as I can’t get this sad feeling off my chest.

I just lost football. Don’t be confused its more than that. OK I didn’t lose I drew but I play sport to rid my emotions. If I win I am fine for a week. If I lose I am devastated but we drew… same difference.

I gotta get things in perspective. I am confused three women whom I like can’t make a choice don’t want too. To be honest I wouldn’t mind being alone. But being alone is a scary place.

My ex refuses to be alone right now, so she has a doormat in too fill that gap… a rebound. Not that he couldn’t be the one for her but I know that he aint the one. I want to be the one but I just don’t think it can work. Fire and Fire just doesn’t work he’s water he’s what she needs.

All that work I put in to get her to be independent by spending nights alone with me by the phone for times of loneliness but prepping her non the less for being an independent woman and now hes more or less there every night.

Down the drain.

I feel for her. Until you do what I do you have never really recovered from love. ALONE TIME. That’s what every1 needs after a relationship.

Damn its been 6 months and I still aint over her. Love what a bitch. I’m so messed up I am typing at 12 at night … to myself. Powerful love is.

Footprints Footprints me and my God that’s all I need.

Maybe I am just hurting cos someone else it there not me. Maybe. But I still know whats best. Avoid the rebound that’s y I’m on a phone diet. Avoiding every1.

She was the one. Maybe not at the end the connection was lost. Too much baggage to carry for too long a journey.

It’s a pity because she is laying the foundation for insecurities with her new man by talking about me. She’ll learn. I did. Never talk about the past it only brings the dirt into the present.

I drew conclusion on one thing today. Tell me if I am wrong.

In a relationship be it big all small… we all want to tell the truth but if whatever it is … if we feel we could lose that person we usually if not always choose to avoid that truth.